Balance Is Bogus

The following excerpt is taken from James Arthur Ray's new book, Harmonic Wealth.

We all know someone who has all their financial ducks in a row-a real go-getter with a flourishing business and an impressive portfolio-whose personal life is in shambles. There's no one to share their success with, or their "life partner" is someone they don't even know anymore. In one area of life, this superstar earns rave reviews, yet in another area, they're hurting bad!

It's possible to focus so much on one thing that your life becomes imbalanced.

How can you avoid this? Through an attainable goal I call Harmonic WealthT, which occurs when you pay attention to all areas of life, and neglect none.

The 5 Pillars of Harmonic Wealth

To create Harmonic Wealth-a fulfilling life with riches in every category-let's think of life in five key areas:

(1) financial;

(2) relational;

(3) mental, (including intellect and emotions);

(4) physical; and

(5) spiritual.

Visualize these as pillars. If you weaken any of them, you start falling apart, either all at once or by bits and pieces. And you can't strengthen the structure by reinforcing the strong pillars; instead, you must attend to the weak ones-areas of neglect.

Your pillars will never be equally strong all of the time. This is what some people call "balance," but it's misleading. You can't establish absolute strength for all five areas and then keep your life in that pose for an easy and unchanging life. (Thank God!) Life would be uneventful-and incredibly boring.

Think about this: In perfect balance, nothing happens-nothing!

Creating Harmonic Wealth starts with realizing that all five areas must have some attention all the time-not that all five areas demand all your attention all the time.

Please read this thought again and let it sink in.

Practical Application: Creating Harmonic Wealth in Everyday Life

The key in all situations is to plan for finite periods of focus and defocus-but never total neglect. I won't be able to go into all five areas in this short lesson, but here are some telltale signs of neglect to look for in relationships, because that's where neglect is pretty easy to diagnose. And remember, the most important relationship is with yourself. So first and foremost ask yourself:

. Do I enjoy spending time alone with me?

. Do I know my innermost thoughts, feelings, and values? Can I articulate them clearly?

. Am I really honest about who I am? Do I take time to reflect?

Simply ask yourself these probing questions, and you'll get a sense of where you stand - and where chaos may be brewing.

James Arthur Ray


To get a copy of Harmonic Wealth, please go to http://www.harmonicwealth.com

Taking Time for Yourself in a Relationship by John Gray

We have all heard this advice before. No matter how wonderful togetherness feels in a relationship, it is still crucial for partners to take time for themselves. There is simply no way that a man or a woman can fulfill all of their partner's needs; it's just impossible to do. Too often people will give up a favorite hobby, sport or pastime in the beginning of a relationship in order to devote more time and energy to making the relationship work. But, what happens down the road when one or both partners realize that they are terribly out of balance and not taking time for themselves? Relationship stress, miscommunication, or worse: resentment and emotional pain can result.

It is healthy to have different interests. In fact, giving up our own interests and the little things that we do to nurture ourselves when a relationship starts will eventually lead to resentment down the road.

It's important for both partners to value quality relaxation time. There is absolutely no need to feel guilty about spending time alone. Independence is good for both men and women, no matter how close they may be in the relationship. Typically, when one partner actively takes some alone time, their partner is encouraged to do the same.

How our differences compliment each other:
Just as men and women have different needs in a relationship, they also have different reasons for needing time to themselves. Too much togetherness usually results in partners expecting too much from each other. Women may tend to smother their mates, while men may seem cold and uncaring. It is healthy for each partner to take time out to explore his or her individual interests.

What Men Need:
Men need to periodically pull away. Remember that men are like rubber bands. It is his natural cycle to get close, pull away, and get close again. It is important for men to fulfill their need for independence. Men automatically alternate between needing intimacy and autonomy. Give a man his space and he will be a better, more attentive, partner. When a man gets too close and doesn't pull away, he often experiences increased moodiness, irritability, passivity, and defensiveness.

Also, when a man is in his cave, he wants to be left alone. He is working out his problems and frustrations by either doing something alone, like reading the paper or watching TV, or doing something active with his male friends.

Most men are happy when their mates do something fun for themselves at these times. It means that she is not sitting around waiting for him to come out of the cave. He will come out ready to talk and be intimate again, and she will have curbed her frustrations by being good to herself and having some fun.

What Women Need:
It is good for a woman's self esteem to take care of herself. She can get wrapped up in taking care of her family and forget how much she needs to nurture herself. Particularly when a man is off in his cave, she can enjoy the time alone to go shopping, work in her garden, go to a class at the gym, or simply languish in the simple pleasure of soaking in a hot bath with a glass of wine.

It is especially important for a woman to cultivate relationships with other women. Women need to talk about what's happening in their lives. On Venus, this is an important part of relationship building. Since this is not the case on Mars, it is wonderful for a woman to get together with her girlfriends so that they can talk about, and listen to, each other's problems, without judgment or offering unsolicited advice.

Couples can even plan these separate times apart. For instance, Tuesday could be his poker night with the boys, and Thursday her night for dinner and a movie with her girlfriends. Both partners will not only appreciate the time to do the things that make them feel good, but will come back feeling renewed and excited to be in such a healthy, well-balanced relationship.

How to Become Rich and Retire Young by Robert Kiyosaki

The following is the story of how my wife Kim, my best friend Larry Clark and I, began our journey from broke, to rich, to retired in less than 10 years. When Kim and I started, we were nearly out of money and filled with doubt. We all have doubts. The difference is what we do with those doubts.

In December 1984, Kim, Larry and I were on a skiing holiday. At night we would discuss our plans for the future. Kim and I were on our last few dollars and Larry was in the process of building another business. On New Years Day, we tried to set some goals. Larry wanted to do more than just set goals for the coming year, he wanted us to set goals that changed our lives.

"Why don't we write a plan on how we can all become financially free?" he urged.

I had talked about it and dreamt about it. But the idea of being financially free was always in the future, not today.

"Let's write it down," Larry said. "Once we write it down, we have to do it, and we'll support each other on the journey."

Kim and I looked at each other doubtfully. "It's a good idea but I think I would rather just focus on surviving for the next year."

"Come on," said Larry. "Let's go for freedom. I don't want to spend my life working just to pay bills. I want to live. I want to be rich. I want to travel the world while I'm young enough to enjoy it."

I recalled the words of my rich dad: "The biggest challenge you have is your own self-doubt and your laziness. It is your self-doubt and your laziness that define and limit who you are. It is your self-doubt and laziness that deny you the life you want."

It was time to choose. "OK, let's set the goal to be financially free." That was New Year's Day 1985. In 1994 Kim and I were free. Larry went on to build his company, which became one of Inc. Magazine's fastest growing companies of the year in 1996. Larry retired in 1998 at the age of 46 after selling his company.

How did we do it?

It's not about how we did it. It's about why we did it. From 1985 to 1994, Kim, Larry, and I focused on rich dad's three paths to great wealth:

Increasing business skills
Increasing money management skills
Increasing investment skills

The why is because I wanted to challenge my own self-doubts, my laziness and my past. It was the why that gave us the power to do the how.

My arguments against Larry's idea were things like: "But we don't have any money"; "I can't do that"; "I'll think about it next year, or once Kim and I get settled".

Rich dad had told me: "Whenever someone says something like 'I can't afford it', or 'I can't do it' to something they want, they have a big problem. Why in the world would someone say 'I can't afford it' or 'I can't do it' to something they want? Why would someone deny themselves the things they want? It makes no logical sense."

My own whys
I was fed up with being broke and always struggling for money.
I was tired of being average.
My parents had struggled under a mountain of bills.

Most painful of all, my beautiful wife Kim was in this financial mess because she loved me.

Things got worse for us before they got better. Kim and I lived in a car for about three weeks after our money ran out. So things did not get better just because we made the decision to retire rich, but it was the reasons why that kept us going.

Rich dad used to say: "If you want something, be passionate. Passion gives energy to your life." Passion is a combination of love and hate. "If you want something you do not have, find out why you love what you want and why you hate not having what you want. When you combine those two thoughts, you will find the energy to go get anything you want."

For example, I would create the following list:

LOVE
Being rich
Being free
Buying anything I want
Expensive things
Having other people do what I don't want to do

HATE
Being poor
Being required to work
Not having what I want
Cheap things
Doing things I don't want to do

So sit quietly to find and define your loves and hates. Then write down your whys. Write down your dreams, goals and plans on becoming financially free, retiring early and retiring as young as possible. Once it is in writing, you may want to show it to a friend who will support you in achieving your dreams. Take a look at this paper with your dreams, goals and plans on a regular basis. Talk about it often, ask for support, be willing to continually learn, and before you know it, things will begin to happen.

I have heard many people say: "Money doesn't buy happiness." That statement has some truth to it. But what money does do is buy me the time to do what I love and pay other people to do what I hate doing.

It's Easy To Earn Money by Bob Proctor

The following article was published in Success Magazine (www.SuccessMagazine.com)on February 1, 2008.

There is a very real possibility that everything you and I have been taught about how to earn money is so far from the truth that it’s almost comical. Earning money has nothing to do with age, formal education, gender or geography. It has nothing to do with past experience or your formal years of education or your level of intellect. Check it out… there are individuals who are functionally illiterate who have become multimillionaires, while there are others who are absolutely brilliant and they are broke.

Virtually anyone can be taught how to earn millions of dollars and yet the sad truth is that 97 out of every 100 people are born, live their entire lives and die without ever learning how to earn money. To perpetuate this ridiculous problem, their ignorance is passed along from one generation to the next.

Our school system has been designed as an environment to enlighten young minds, to replace ignorance with understanding and thereby improve the quality of life. Our educational system has obviously been successful in many areas. However, it has woefully neglected one important subject, “How to Earn Money.” You can earn a doctorate degree in economics and have little or no knowledge of how to earn money. A lack of understanding in this area is the cause of numerous unwanted and unnecessary problems, since money is the medium of exchange that is used worldwide for other people’s products and services.

There has always been a small, select group, approximately 3 percent of our population, who clearly understand that prosperity consciousness is the primary cause of wealth and their prosperity consciousness, like ignorance, is also passed down from one generation to the next.
Let’s look at money. What is it? Money is a reward you receive for the service you render. The more valuable the service, the greater the reward. Thinking of ways we can be of greater service will not only help us earn more money, it will also enable us to grow intellectually and spiritually.

Money Is an Idea

The paper you fold and place in your purse or pocket is not money. It is paper with ink on it. It represents money, but it is not money. Money is an idea. The earning of money has nothing to do with the paper stuff. It has to do with consciousness.

I am aware there are books that instruct you on how to manipulate the market, stocks and people… they might even help you get money. But, let me caution you… when there is no spiritual growth… there is no spiritual strength… there is no lasting happiness… and, there is no real or lasting wealth.

To accumulate wealth, a person must become very comfortable with the idea of money. That may sound strange, however most people are not comfortable with the idea of money, which is why they do not have any. The cause of poverty is poverty consciousness. A poverty consciousness will cause a person to see, hear, smell, think and feel ... lack and limitation.

The late Mike Todd said, “Being broke is a temporary situation. Being poor is a mental state.”

He was correct. There are wealthy people who lose every cent they have through a series of mistakes in judgment… but that does not make them poor. They will have it all back in a short time because of their prosperity consciousness.

If you have any question in your mind regarding your level of consciousness with respect to money, be very honest with yourself and look at your results.
Study the patterns in your life.

If you want to improve your financial position in life, focus your attention on creating a higher level of prosperity consciousness. Begin by preparing a powerful, positive affirmation and fuel it with emotion. When you do this, you are depositing this creative energy in the treasury of your subconscious mind. And, by repeating this process over and over and over again every day, it will begin to alter your conditioning and mentally move you in the direction you want to go. Write it out, read it, feel it, and let it take hold of your mind.

How much money do you want? Saying you want more is not good enough. Five dollars is more. How much more? Decide on a figure. Be specific. You will not seriously want more money than you are capable of earning... however, you would be wise to remember, you must earn it.

There Are Three Income-Earning Strategies

Trading time for money — By far the worst of the three income earning strategies, it is employed by approximately 96 percent of our population—doctors, lawyers, accountants, laborers, etc. There is an inherent problem with this strategy—saturation. You run out of time. If a person accumulates any degree of wealth employing this strategy, it will be at the expense of a life. They compromise on the car they drive, the house they live in, the clothes they choose and the vacations they take. They rarely, if ever, get what they want.

Investing money to earn money — This strategy is used by approximately 3 percent of the population. The number is small for the obvious reason—very few people have any money to invest. Many people who effectively employ this strategy follow the advice of a trusted, knowledgeable advisor.

Leveraging yourself to earn money – This is where you multiply your time through the efforts of others by setting up Multiple Sources of Income. This is, without question, the very best way to increase your income. Make a decision to have many sources of income; it’s the strategy that wealthy people have used dating clear back to the ancient Babylonians. Unfortunately, this strategy is only used by approximately 1 percent of our population, yet that 1 percent earns approximately 96 percent of all the money that is earned! You are only a decision away from membership.

Once you determine how much money you want to earn, write it down on a sheet of paper in large figures. Look at the number with the dollar sign beside it and tell yourself over and over again:
• That Amount of Money is an Effect.
• It Represents a Reward that I Want to Receive.
• What Service Can I Render that Would be Deserving of that Reward?

You can take the total figure and divide it into multiple parts. Each part would represent a source of income. Each source of income represents a separate reward that you would receive for a service you would render.

Work on one source of income at a time; each one can become an exciting part of your life. What you are actually doing is thinking of different ways you can be of service to others.
• Think of how you can do whatever you do—more effectively.
• Think of how you can improve the quality and quantity of service you render.
• Think of how you can help people in a greater way.

Money is the ultimate servant. The more you earn, the more you can help others.

To earn money from one of the most powerful personal growth programs available today, get yourself The Science of Getting Rich Program. Three teachers from the hit DVD movie, The Secret, have come together to create this powerful program. They include Bob Proctor, Jack Canfield and Michael Beckwith. For all the details on how you can start earning money today, please click here.

Curing the Resentment Flu - Learning to Let Go... by John Gray

When we love someone, we don't want to let them down. We try very hard to be the person and do the things that will make them happy. At some point, we become more relaxed in the company of our beloved. Maybe too relaxed for our own good. When a woman is happy in a relationship she typically begins to give and do more, believing that her partner will reciprocate. When he unknowingly doesn't live up to her expectations, resentment begins to build.

She doesn't want to rock the boat, so she remains quiet - for now...

What is the Resentment Flu?

Resentment is caused when we feel like we are giving more than we are getting. It starts when our partner somehow, and quite possibly by accident, does or says something that we take personally. We begin to imagine that our partner doesn't care. It goes unresolved and burrows and festers. It can even cause us to become physically ill.

Resentment is caused when we feel like we are giving more than we are getting. How do we cure these feelings and return to our relationship with the loving, caring feelings we know are there?

The solution for women is to:

Take responsibility for giving more and getting less. Remember the best way to even the score is to gracefully give less.
Treat yourself as if you have the flu and take a break from giving so much. Just like when you don't feel well, slow down and take care of yourself physically.
Pamper yourself. Allow yourself to be pampered and give yourself some alone time, just for you. Practice receiving. Allow your partner to take care of you for a while.

When a man catches the resentment flu, he typically feels unappreciated and pulls away his support. It is important for him to remember that when his partner has the resentment flu, it is harder for her to show her support and appreciation for him. It is crucial at this time for a man to do the little things he was doing in the beginning of their relationship which made her feel loved.

The solution for men is to:

Understand her need to receive for a while before she can give again. Just like a gas tank, a woman's love tank needs regular refilling. When she is empty, it is hard for her to keep giving.
Show his love and affection for her in loving, little ways. Redirect the energy and attention you are already giving in more romantic, less practical ways.
Take responsibility for contributing to her getting the resentment flu by forgetting to do the little things. Acknowledge and allow her to have her upset feelings. Reassure her that you will be more considerate.

It is very easy to get caught up in the business of our day. We sometimes forget to stop and appreciate our partner and remember how they enrich our lives. Loving our partner without resentment is a gift we give to ourselves and each other.

The Realization of A Goal

During the Easter holidays, I achieved one of my most important goals to date when I got married in Fiji. I had a fabulous time and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Below are some pictures from the traditional wedding.